Kensha Diaries
by kensha
Summary: I know I am Naruto freak and It is to late for me to come out of it... but for you there is a chance ... don't read it ... It's just a personal thing...
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N:**_

**__**I have asked a person to help with the presentation of the story as well as help with the grammatical errors... If you want to read something that won't hurt your feelings towards naruto manga than you are at right place...and these few chapters will be expanded with lot of filling material as soon as that particular person finds time...

Those who don't review... I understand your feelings... I myself have reviewed only one story and that is perhaps the most promising naruto fanfiction on the site... but if you want to talk about naruto world and logically question on jutsus and stuff... i am the best person and i mean it...

I have no idea how long the story will be but I have a mental picture of how I want the story to first few chapters are short and They are up on expansion but I will ask you to reach at least chapter 3 when it's available...

**As all the other authors on this site. I don't own Naruto**

_italic _ sub conscious thoughts of Kensha

* * *

><p><strong>AM I DREAMING <strong>

_I don't know how to put it into words, but this feeling... I feel a change... Even with my eyes closed, it feels like the world around me is not same. No. . I am not falling into that again... World is not mysterious... Open your eyes damn Kensha.._

I am Kensha. And that's all I know at the present moment. And even about that I am not completely sure. I found myself 4000 heartbeats ago here in this forest... Even though this looks like a normal forest. My instinct say that something is very odd... like it is not reality. Or where I used to live wasn't, compared to this place.

_Come on. You are being philosophical once again... stop it... remember the rules. The rules. Don't be illogical._

My body feels like I have been sleeping for years... like I have stopped using it long ago... or perhaps I think this body is used for the first time.

_Logic rules the world... you are weak alone. Find help..._

Yeah...help... that is what I am doing now... finding any life...other than the plants and animals...I am walking for approximately 720 heartbeats now. But I think my heart is beating not at the usual rate and therefore I couldn't convert it into how much time in seconds... yet it gives me a vague estimate of passage of time...

But i am happy about one particular thing... I am practically a kid now... I am a kid...come on... This is what everybody wishes... to be kid again... and I have full teenage to live with this maturity...

_Stop smiling Kensha... are you sure you will be alive here for your whole teenage... _

I don't know whether everyone else have this kind of program in mind that keep giving you suggestions from time to time or not.. But I have it. And I am not really happy about it. It is like invading my privacy... I can't even think alone. Can't cry because it says ' Kensha. World is based on logic. Crying only wastes time'. But it has saved me from suicide from many times... because it gives me hope that I am not the worst. Yet I am trying continuously to get rid of it...

_I am guessing it Kensha. Just guess... these toads. They are not just staring out of curiosity. And we haven't seen this much variety of toads even in encyclopedia. This place is full of toads. _

Don't tell me I have to run away from toads now. I am already much into pain from walking. And being nude from head to toe doesn't help a bit. And the wind... it's like a refrigerator is opened in front of me when I am wet from head to toe.

_Keep walking... Don't you think it is very boring to just fall here... It is not very interesting thing to do.._

Yeah. I will wait for something to happen. May be those toads have some link... I have a faint memory of some character Jiraya of Japanese mythology who summoned toads by magic...

_Come on get out of it... You have left all that years ago. Remember how much you destroyed yourself for some idiotic comic series... It destroyed your career and your social life .._

Hey... I am not obsessed with it now . It is just a memory... and It is not completely illogical...

_Yet I don't think that is possible... and even if it is... I don't want you to get pulled again. Better die rather than restarting all over again..._

Come on get out of my head. Are you me or just some parasite designed to irritate me...

Of course. It is me. Our interests are same. Only it takes care that I don't fall into problems again...And It is more decisive than me...

_Okay. I too think we are not in the world we used to be... That toad. It is holding a stick. It must be that world only. I remember.. it was very important character. And helped the protagonist._

I covered my privates with hands. I have read enough comics in my childhood. And one thing I am sure that they take shape of anything to everything and then suddenly come out into human form. The idea of being exposed, Is simply very disgraceful...

"Who are you and what are you doing on land of toads"

I looked at the source of sound... I heard it from behind... something told me that I should look down at the ground rather than searching for a human.

_Okay. Now adapt quickly. This is naruto world... you should have kept one copy with you. Now we are in deep shit... My head is hurting... I had spent years in creating a life for you and now you fell into another world..._

Come on. I though you were calm and logical one... This is out of character...

_Rules...yeah...don't leave your present unanalyzed...that toad.I remembers it is good one. Talk to it._

"I am Kensha. I don't know how I reached h-here... but I w-wish to get knowledge about where I am and how I can find my way -he-home..."

Well. I always had a speech problem used to stutter a lot. And even now I can't stop it... Though the cold will give that toad a reason to belief that I am not stuttering out of low confidence.

"You will get cold if you keep standing here... We will talk at a better place"

The pink purple talking toad turned... and I followed her...

_At least show some surprise at a toad talking...you have created suspicion..._

Damn...what do I do...oh yes...get fainted. And tell later that I got surprised by a toad .it is not difficult to do. Just relax your body. And close your eyes. And fall slowly...and someone would catch you. And I executed the fainting program... and was waiting for someone to catch.

Ouch...

_Idiot..._

I know...

(XXX)

* * *

><p>Hope you will tell me how I can make it better...it's my first story...I have many chapters drafted but my writing skills suck that's why i am waiting for reviews to decide further whether to upload or not...<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

Author's notes :

As all the other authors on this site. I don't own Naruto

Kensha's face look like Kushina Uzumaki ..Her black-red hairs are tied like Mikoto Uchiha and her outfit is same as Mei Terumi (the mizukage) dyed in black .. her eyes are brown...and skin yellowish white...

_italic _kensha's sub-conscious self

* * *

><p><strong>With the ominous sage of mount myoboku<strong>

"I think the prophesy child will have to face a difficult choice….. I see him finding it difficult to choose between his lover and the role as the child of prophesy" the older sage stated...

"I am sure …he will save the world….rather than choosing a single individual…" the purple toad said..

"The intensity of the bond I see ...is not something he could fight off easily…yet there is hope that the girl will help him making the right decision…"..he answered..

* * *

><p><strong>3 years from my arrival to Mount myoboku... Land of toads...<strong>

"Wake up Kensha-chan.. It's already late for training"

It didn't took me even a heartbeat to recognize Gamatatsu-kun's voice.

_So…what do you have for today Kensha…?_

Another day...What a drag ... I am absolutely hating this life...

_Come out of it… stop random thoughts…that is a rule…._

Yeah rules… I have to keep them in my mind ….rules ….rules...rules….

_The more you sleep, the more you need sleep…._

At last I am getting up….a total of 144 heartbeats wasted in all my waking up programmed….again I feel proud of my ability to count heartbeats involuntarily…it's like a

_Kekkai genkai…_

Yeah…may be…these words they use here are very difficult to write and speak….yet…they are beautiful to hear and read…

_Again your unconnected thought generation…._

I am a freak...I know… No need to make me realize daily…

_You should follow the schedule...and keep thinking all this in parallel with it…._

In between these arguments,I finally find myself moving and doing the basic morning routines…

_Okay…we are behind the schedule...move faster..._

I like flashback of my life… Peoples see flashback of their life at their last moment of existence…but I do it daily…while going to fukasaku and shima.

So here I am , Kensha… a teenage girl,average height,average weight but above average lazyness , wearing a black kimono, which is very big one for me.I am here for 3 years … shima and fukasaku found me roaming on this place which is thought completely safe from intrusion…Initially they were wishing to get me to jiraya who is their student…but I insisted to stay here and live with them... and soon we became like family….

_Today we have to work on sage jutsu …._

I know … I know… you need not to tell everyday …

I sighed and took a few more steps while my eyes were focused at the rising sun….

Although I have not met Jiraya…yet I know he would be a good person…. Not just because of fukasaku's utter trust in him but also because I remember vaguely about the story which is going here…. Ninja villages, ninja wars, summoning…etc... all of it …I have fragments of memories which keep joining together when fukasaku tell me about them…or when shima and I begin our talks…ladies talk a lot ..Nothing new to me….

_How come you move off the topic so quickly….we are trying to get a basic summary of what has happened to you until now…._

I sighed again…and turned my head towards the path leading to the oil fountain….one thing I observed is that in this world…everything is given a very charismatic name…. the name of the places…the name of techniques…they all are beautifully and deliberately named….. But I like to give my own names….and peoples usually get irritated by it….even frogs…

_You are pathetic…_

Okay. okay…I can complete it before reaching….so here I was…when we become like a family…they began to tell me about this world…and about how peoples live here….and about the hidden village of leaf….and their connection with the shinobi's of that village….I naturally was curious and since that day I spend more than 3 hours daily on average just listening to stories of past….about the possibilities in future…and about techniques and all that stuff…..

_Keep going…_

In a year I was able to interact with them fluently… I think that I had Japanese tongue in my previous life too…. so It took me less time to learn all of it again… But that is not a problem... They are very observant... They can read your expressions and tell you what you want to say... Our first conversation was based on this fact only...

_Is it necessary to drag this to every detail….we are reaching there in 20 heartbeats…._

Okay…I have to summarize quickly…..they began to teach me….and it was harder than it appears to be….hadn't been my rules with me…I would have given up on the 2nd day….it takes a lot to control your chakra. which I think is the electromagnetic field generated by nervous system … it takes months to take out the smallest bit of hope in learning these things…I spend 6 months to just be able to stick a leaf to my head with chakra….

_There you reach….again with an unfinished summary….we will try again __tomorrow..._

"Kensha chan…. You are getting lazier day by day…should we try a different time for training"

I know its fukasaku's voice…not very difficult to recognize…but it takes a lot to guess direction…. This place is so artistically build that sounds dance in all directions of they leave their source….

(HIT)

Ouch….

"How many times I tell you to not think this much… half of the time you are just thinking rubbish..."

How can I explain to him that I try hard to stop it …but it cannot change …I am like this and will remain like this….

"Sorry…sensei…I will not be late tomorrow…I will try to be on time next time"

I said this apathetically….my face don't show much of emotions…but I keep a weak smile all the time….more as to not look gloomy and sad than to show any interest...

"Its 4 years now….and what you can do is to climb trees and walk on water….you are really weak in spirit …your lack of interest in reality is what makes you learn this slowly…"

I looked down…. And sighed again…..how can I explain to him…that to do this much is an achievement to me…..it is better than doing nothing…..

"She is trying hard….you should not be this harsh..." said shima…coming to my shoulder….

Shima has always been supportive…..and I think she knows how my mind is….it takes me a lot to take my thoughts to words and then words to action….

"I am going to do more sage training today" I said gently moving towards the fountain of toad oil…

There are things apart from my ability to count heartbeats unconsciously…that make me different….like my emotions….they are very tranquil…I don't remember the last time I was excited…or sad….it's like I don't get affected by what I am doing…or what is coming next…...I don't feel any excited about my future…and that is the proper reason why I am here among toads and not going out to discover my place in the society …

I got in front of the fountain…and got in the position….it is the best time-pass according to me….stay still….try keeping your thoughts calm and try uniting with nature…. It is very difficult…because very less of shinobi's been able to do it …jiraya is considered to be among the finest of the sage mode users by fukasaku….. Although toads are able to learn it far easily…their bodies are naturally suited to it...

_Okay….we have a whole day to sit like this…._

I closed my eyes and started the training...…

**In the red glow of sunset...**

At last I am able to feel the sage chakra...

_Yeah... we did it...and we will become better with time and training..._

This training makes me feel very fatigued at the end... I think I will sleep today without any conversation with Shima...

I got to back to the small frog house I have and went straight to bed...

_Don't worry much... something special will happen one day ... just wait for it..._

**(X)**

* * *

><p>(AN)

Kensha ... is a character to help me get out of this manga addiction...although sorry for the errors which i can't get by first sight...my writing skill don't just suck...they make you sick...They can kill you...

please review...it make's me feel good...


	3. Chapter 3

**(A/N) : Like all other authors on this site, I don't own Naruto...**

Now our kensha has grown to her full womanly appearance... she wears clothes which are just mei terumi over the waist dyed in brown and kurunei's clothing below the waist dyed in black ... and her hairs are tied traditionally into a flower behind her head... Her lips are naturally pink

* * *

><p><strong>I don't know what I have done to fall into situations like this…<strong>

My complete field of vision is blocked by the blue mass of water in front of me…

_Jump away at least… this is just the beginning of the battle …don't you start wasting your chakra from the initial moment…._

Just three more heartbeats before it hits me…I need to do something now …

I brought two of my hands in front of me… and absorbed sage chakra without any fear or worry over controlling it….

_We are smart, aren't we…. Using the sage chakra to bring out a partial transformation of body…_

In a heartbeat my two hands turned into toad like limbs… and pushing the ground with the mighty power and next moment I was high up in the air leveling with Gamabunta mouth…

_He is going to use his sword…_

My limbs get back to normal as soon as i needed them to be…I can see him preparing for a vertical sword swipe…

_In air we are vulnerable…_

I remember when I first learned to combine my yin chakra and natural chakra from the surrounding…. It was the day when I felt like I achieved something which I wished for…

_Gamabunta's kenjutsu skills are of high order…Even if you dodge this strike…he will get you during the fall…. you have to try something else…and only s more heartbeats..._

One more thing about myself which I discovered during my stay is that my self preservation instinct is very low… which is a reason why I don't get panicked at a giant blade coming at me…

Again I got my arms stuffed with senjutsu chakra and brought them in front of me ….this time I allowed them to attain the highest level of transformation which could be reversed…

_The transformation you used now is very dangerous… _

the limbs grew very large…they were easily 20 times my own height…and they looked awkward originating from my tiny body…this time they were covered with stone amours with spiral signs…( just like steel plates on gloves of shinobi's)

_And like other days you are brought down to ground again…. You beat your earlier record by 1 heartbeat exactly…10 years of training and all you did was last 20 seconds in front of gamabunta…pathetic…_

Who cares…. I like practicing…I like learning about justus…. and that is what I am doing here…and beside I don't really need to win… it's just to keep some real time practice on my hands , in case I need it in emergency…

**The eve of jiraya's death**

_Fukasaku and shima are coming this way.._

"It have been long since you two came to meet me….fukasaku-sama and shima-sama"...I said without even looking into the direction of them…

"Kensha-chan… we have a favor to ask from you"

_What it can be… they don't come usually at this time of day to meet you…and a favor…what favor I could give to the most skilled senjutsu users…_

"What…"I asked looking with a small curiosity…

"Our student jiraya… whom you met earlier…" he said in a sad tone..

"That old pervert…"I said lazily…

"He was killed by his own student…"shima completed. And began crying…

"You told me that his student will be child of prophecy…what kind of child of prophecy would kill his own master" I said turning and standing …

He then gave me the whole explanation about jinchiruki and akatsuki…not that I found it interesting.. I like hearing about there abilities…. But except that I don't feel any real urge to help them..

_So he is going to come here to train …and they want you to help in his training…_

"It's not like I can teach any better than you…. Beside he will be using your type of senjutsu …. What is your reason to bring it all up to me" I said looking fukasaku in eyes….

_Come on kensha… you are not that bad… just help him with what you know …_

But why this has to come up …everything is fine …I have no worries and I am happy..I am learning what I want to learn…everything is so fucking good….

_But did you consider that they can die to in this battle too…_

My eyes widened…why I am always so dumb…they are going to protect him in anyway. Even if it cost them their lives…

."no way…you two are not going to fight with him against the rinnegan user…no way…"I said glaring at them with angry eyes…it's long since I felt any kind of emotion…a little bit of rage I feel inside me…

"For us Naruto-kun is also like a family…just as you…and we never show our back to our family members…" fukasaku said turning away…and shima followed too…

"I will fight …. "… I said sighing…

"Good… I knew our kensha-chan is not that cold ..She tries to pretend…"

Damn… we are screwed… we are getting into problems again…living with society bring s nothing but more problems and suffering…but without them too I will suffer…damn this whole akatsuki ..

_Calm down…calm down…think logically…we have to be very logical this time…_

Yeah… Preparations…I have to make a very well thought of plan...but there is no point in training the kid… he will probably get annoyed by my presence…and I can't handle it well for now…

"fukasaku-sama…I will help in the battle but I won't train him….I think he would get disturbed by presence of me…you train him…I will make preparations of my own and come to you soon. Don't leave without me…"I said to him..

"I am going to bring him from konoha"

He said and vanished…

**Next morning….**

I have never worked this hard…. And I had never any reason for it…I am all covered with bruises and cuts…my hairs are soaked up and my whole body is heated up to fire…it's not like I am gaining any new skills…but it's first time for me to fight with intention of winning…I must get used to this feeling…

Shima was also breathing heavily…"kensha-chan…. How much you have been hiding from us…." And she sat down to relax….

"I wasn't hiding…I never had a reason to use these against anyone before.."I said panting …her attacks are very difficult to get away from.

_Keep doing it daily…we have to act tactically during the battle…so that no one gets hurt…we have to get used to this feeling of being responsible...and also we have to help that kid Naruto too…_

He was a utter idiot ...but yet the protagonist of the story...that is all i remember about him... I wish I would have continued reading that particular manga...

"At least I will tell him not to wear orange anymore..." I mumbled to myself...

_Don't fear about the consequences of your actions... You may save one now but he or she will be killed eventually because the end of the story depends on nature of charterers , not the events that occur throughout..._

**Meeting the other half of Circle**

_Don't be too harsh at him… Our task is to help him…_

I am moving towards the place where Naruto Uzumaki is taking the sage mode training… Fukasaku sent the message that he has gained the ability to enter the perfect sage mode….which not even someone as skilled as the toad sanin Jiraya was unable to do…

_He is a jinchiruki…and he is from the Uzumaki clan….he must be possessing inhuman reserves of yang chakra…._

I don't know how I would behave when I will meet him…but I know what I will do…

_Going to konoha…and fighting Akatsuki…that's some brave choice you made after a long time…_

I don't have any other choice… This is the best choice at the present moment…

_And we have to pass some of his techniques too…_

Yeah…the promise I made to Jiraya when he gave me his knowledge of sealing techniques…. I have to teach Naruto those things too…or at least help him in any way…

_That's our hero … Uzumaki Naruto…Intimidating…_

We discussed his chakra levels already…stop getting surprised…

_It was a compliment… not a word of surprise…_

He already noticed my presence…

_Behave Kensha…don't look like idiot…_

I know how to present myself…would he look me as any special girl or not...

_He has a dominating presence…_

I smiled in a motherly manner…I always smile like a mother …it's something I think makes others feel good…and looked towards him waiting for him to turn his head…

1….2…..3…..4…..5…6….7….8….9….heartbeats

_Kensha stop staring…_

_Kensha look away…_

I can't look away from those eyes…. He is looking at me too…this is different feeling…it is a feeling … a real feeling…. I am feeling strange…I don't have the will to look away...

_He is coming down…_

I am still looking into his eyes… It is like he is asking something through them…Like …like….

"You must be Kensha….I am Uzumaki Naruto…" he said in a calm voice….

_It is out of character…he should have at least stated his dream of becoming hokage in his introduction…_

I bowed instinctively…"You are right…Naruto-kun"

Shima came at my shoulder…"from when did you care about using proper names…you call everyone with their first name…. and naruto becomes Naruto-kun"

_Now a toad granny is teasing you and making you blush…you are pathetic…_

"Kensha I hand over naruto's training to you…." Fukasaku said while preparing for the body flicker …

I nodded…

"I am going too..." and saying this Shima and Fukasaku vanished together…

_She did not have to go… she could have remained here…_

I stopped blushing quickly and moved towards him…."so how much you have progressed…" I asked him looking him into the eyes….

"Not anything I think will make it easy against pain… my sage mode don't last long… and even if I use shadow clones… I can get a maximum of 20 minutes of it"

He stated looking down on his own fist…

"What if you summon shadow clones to the battle field after letting them collect sage chakra here…" saying this I moved towards a nearby rock and gracefully leaned to it…

"That is the plan… I will leave the shadow clones here and summon them during the battle" he said

"I can help you with you problem… but in return you need to do something for me…"

I said to him…looking into his eyes again…

_Good shot…kensha..._

"What do you mean … what do you want me to do…." He asked to me … we both are trying to maintain eye contact….at least I am …

"I like giving gifts … you have to accept my gift…will you" I smiled and closed my eyes…

"Okay…don't give anything expensive…you live here alone with toads… I wonder what you can give me…" he said

_His manners are out of character…He should be making weird faces…and must have already insulted you twice or thrice…_

May be I don't have anything for which anyone can insult me….

_Come on… this is a wrong statement… you know it yourself…_

"So how do you will extend the time of sage mode…" he asked with extreme curiosity on his face…

I put out a scroll from my storage seal at my wrist and got down on ground spreading it open…

He too get down near me and began to look curiously…

"Jiraya did something like this once in front of me to extinguish black flames of amateresu" he stated...

I kept writing the seals… but why my heart is beating so rapidly…Is it because of naruto-kun…

"Put your palms in these two circles" I motioned to him….

He obeyed without question…

Now …this is something that should work…. If I create two seals on his body which will allow him to summon a clone back to himself as well as allow himself to send a clone to myobokuzan he will be able to maintain a continuous sage chakra reserve…

I went through the hand seals slowly….I can do it fast….but I don't want to do any mistake in front him…and I don't know why…

_Why… let's see what can be the cause…he he he…_

What…Oh no…this can't be…I looked at him…

Am I in love with him…

_Yes you are…_

And with all this in my mind I slammed my two hands to the ground….and the whole sealing which I created from my blood began to ascend to his wrist forming identical seals on both hands…

"My wrist is burning…" he said while he bit his own lips…

I don't know what made me do it but I bit my own lips and blood tricked out…he saw this…and then calmed down…

I got up and quickly moved towards his side.." Are they hurting…I have never done it before. Please don't be angry with me.."

I had an urge to hold his hands and put my fingers where they were giving him pain…

_Kensha… tears…you are crying…_

"Hey it's okay… I am a ninja… I don't feel that much pain…beside I heal far quickly than anybody" he said in a compassionate tone…

I looked into his eyes … and his expressions changed … he was looking like he was shocked at something…

He wiped my tears and put a hand on my cheeks.." I don't feel good when anyone cry…but seeing you cry is making me feel like I should not exist…"

I just put my hands on his shoulders….and began to cry again.. "don't say that…. I just can't hear that again…"

I sensed fukasaku and shima coming there….and got away slowly…"Let's work on your sage mode extension"

"Eh… okay. You alright…"he said looking into my eyes…

And I kissed on his cheek…"thank you… "

"For what…"

"For becoming what you are now… a person whom everybody should idolize …"

"You have met me only a few minutes ago , how can you say that …"

I got a look down and blushed…

"Why are your cheeks red…are you suffering from cold…"

I hugged him again…"idiot…when a girl blushes…it means she likes you…"

"You …like me…"he asked in surprise...

_he really is dumb..._

we both fell on the ground together and i was cheerfully hugging him...

"What are you two doing…"I heard the familiar voice of gamabunta…

I didn't move…"can't you see idiot… I am hugging him…"

"Keep it for later…pain has arrived at konoha…"

Without wasting even a moment we quickly hurried to preparations of the battle…

_You should give …_

During our preparations I gave him the gift I prepared for him.

"Kensha-chan...Pain defeated jiraya...He must be very tough guy... I wanted to say something to you before we head out" he said it without looking towards me..

"You can say it afterwards... We will live through every battle together to say those things" I said confidently...

"You are not understanding... with me peoples only experience pain" he was having a worried look in his eyes..

I looked ahead…"Naruto-kun…I see you as a person who will bring happiness in life of peoples and stand against those who want to spread hatred and malice… True strength don't lie in techniques , but your faith in what you are doing… Peoples live together , make relations and fight together…and that is what we do in our life… If you stop others from helping you , and take everything on your own shoulders …you will fail ..and even if you become strong ..you will end up as peoples of akatsuki" … looking into his eyes…I saw him absorbing all I said..

and within a few moments his expression changed … "Don't worry… You can come… No pain can hurt you or others who don't deserve being hurt... but don't help me unless I really need it"

"Okay"I answered cheerfully...

_Even if you smile... you are worried...this is going to be a tough battle...take every precaution possible..._

"Kensha-chan... We might need your sealing cards... " fukasaku stated

"I have them with me... " I 5aid...and all of us vanished in smoke..

* * *

><p><strong>(AN) : **Believe me, the only change Naruto need is a better clothing ...and any sane girl would dump sasuke for him...

some might think that to develop a bonding just in few moments is wrong. well..yes it is very strange to read but when two strange characters meet ... anything can happen...

. I know it is difficult to ignore grammatical errors while reading...but yet if you try to imagine along with the story...they will not matter that much...thinking about a story is easy but to put it in a way others understand is very difficult and time consuming...if you ignore the error and look over the material...I will be grateful...

I don't know what is lacking in the story until anybody review it...


End file.
